That is just a little idea of the amazing things that have been happening in my life.
If anyone remembers my last blog... it was about the debt i was in and couldnt get into school because my transcripts were being held, but also the way i wasnt worried because i knew God would take care of all of my needs according to His riches in Christ... thats what scripture says.. and i say I believe, dont I? Then I should live like it.
Well since that last blog..... my world has been stirred, shaken, rocked and rolled. All, of course, to reveal a better me and a closer relationship with Abba.
It would take me a day to write everything thats been going on, and what Ive learned, but I will mention a few.
I wrote last time that I knew the debt was a consequence for doing something I thought I wanted to do, and taking precious time away from what God wanted from my life to pursue another career. (I still love photography and I dont think ill ever stop) but that wasnt what God had specifically designed for this little life. There is always forgiveness, but that doesnt erase consequence. I still had to go through all that debt and all that turmoil and time I wish I would have been in school..
For the past several months, miraculous things have happened... in terms of pretty much every area of my life, from parts of my family- my mother completeing a TRI-ATHALON, to my personal finance -getting a new job and doubling my income,getting on good debt consolidation and repayment plans, and my debt at the Art Insitute being forgiven, to being abundantly blessed in terms of the wedding of my dreams, and so much more- to Codys and my relationship - to friendships that have grown and been revealed.... i mean really there is so much that I truly believe God has done because of the faith that I kept, the faithfulness I had in surrendering and throwing my hands up and saying "alright, Youve got this... I cant do it any more" and in leaving it there..
God has really been showing me what its like to be a Daddy's girl... a blessed-beyond-measure (instead of spoiled rotten) little baby girl. Ive never known what it was like to run up to a man and say "Daddy look what I did!" or "Daddy I need your help" or "Daddy I love you."
Until now.
Its such a beautiful thing. I look at Cody when he is with Children, and how he was born to be a Father, but more than that, he was born to be a Daddy. He was born to love like a Daddy loves, care and nurture and protect and provide and teach like a Daddy teaches: Gently, humbly, willingly, passionately, lovingly.
And the coolest thing is that the closer Cody gets to his Daddy, the more that all is revealed in him, because we all become like those we are closest to and spend the most time with, and we all have our parents blood pumping through our veins. When Cody made a decision yo take on the cross of Christ and walk beside Him and follow and believe, that was the day he was grafted in, adopted into the Family, became an heir to the Throne, and Christs blood began pumping through his veins, beating in and out of his heart, and he started becoming like his Daddy.
The closer Ive gotten to God, the more I have been learning to be LOVED by a Daddy.
And let me just tell you....Its the most exhilerating and incredible feeling to know and be sure of the fact that I am LOVED I am CHERISHED.. I am WANTED.... I am ADORED... I am PRECIOUS... I am SPECIAL... all because I was fearfully and wonderfully crafted... God the Artist took His time and put every piece of me together and didnt finish until He made a masterpiece, and for the first time, I looked in the mirror, and said "I love myself."
What a revelation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No matter the weight, no matter the flaws, no matter the mistakes, no matter the imperfections and the quirks...
I know there is someone so much bigger than me who loves me, and I am free in that. And it all happened when I gave up trying to be the god of my own life - making decisions, judging, condemning, trying to provide and deal with things..
When i stopped all that craziness and finally let God be God.... thats when It came.
Surrender is so beautiful. But we make it out to look "weak."
Faith is so simple,but we make it seem so hard.
Its loosening your grasp.
Trust.
Relax.
Breathe.
Liberate.
Live.
Let God be God.
