"It doesn't have to be perfect"

Last night, after I got off work, I came home, then changed and rushed out the door to head to a birthday gathering at a place called Sips 'n' Strokes in Marietta.

I really didn't know what to expect except for painting and wine, which was good enough for me.

When I got there, I thought I was going to be late, so i was already nervous, and I hadn't pre-registered for the class, so I was nervous that it was full, not to mention there were probably 50+ people in the building, all dressed down and casual, and I'm dressed up and in knee-high high-heeled boots. lol. great. But I decided that it was going to be good and not to worry. Everything ended up working out, and one of the girls ended up bringing Chocolate wine. :)


As we started to get ready to paint, the instructor was prepping us, and one of the first things that came out of her mouth was "it doesnt have to be perfect.. this is very loose, very whimsical." That went in one ear and right out the other, as it usually always does. I can never seem to take that saying to heart, "it doesnt have to be perfect."

After the fourth or fifth time she said it to us, while we were painting, I said "that's good to know for all the perfectionists in here." and the girl next to me asked if i was a perfectionist. I said yes, then added that I was very artsy... then it kinda hit me that artsy fartsy and perfectionism do NOT go hand in hand, and that eventually, my true artsy self will have to accept that, so she can be free, and the perfectionist has to stop being the controlling pessimist that she is.


Anyways... I decided then and there that this would be very therapeutic for me, and that.....It really DIDNT have to be perfect. Once I decided that, it was actually very freeing...

As my freehand painting started coming together, it was quite relaxing, and I let go of my mentality that painting had to look like an exact replica of an Ansel Adams photograph.. (See how unrealistic my expectations on myself are?)

What's the fun in setting yourself up for failure, and ultimately failing, anyways?
Cody said something pretty profound one time.. he said, you never learn unless you fail... That's one of the hardest things for me to accept.
I love to learn, I love it.... but i HATE failing, almost more than anything. But the two go hand in hand.... it really is a successful love-hate relationship.

How paradoxical -

in this cool real-life application last night, I completely failed at what my expectations were of what I thought I needed to do for this painting---but what did I learn? That in the failing, it was still beautiful, and more unique, more... me.

:)













.....And I was truly happy.